john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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