Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
