There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she pinky promised me she was 18
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
