I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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