I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
