Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
