weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
