idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
