im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
