Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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