And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
