i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
