Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
