when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize