Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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