pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
