How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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