do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
