Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
