We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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