I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
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my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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