I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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