Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just gargled with NyQuil
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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