Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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