How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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