Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
