His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
