Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
