Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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