fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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