Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize