Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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