In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
