this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
How external is "for external use only"?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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