so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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