Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize