My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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