our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize