That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
