we're blogging at a bar
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
