so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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