Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
How naked do you want me to be?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
