Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He has the fingertips of a God
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize