you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
