i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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