Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
