is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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