we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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