His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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