Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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