Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
