who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
