i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
