we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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