I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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