i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
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