i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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