I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
worst night to have a conscience
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
