Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
